In October 2023, my life changed in ways I never could have imagined.
My pregnancy went well, but my birth plan didn’t work out at all. I was pressured to be induced, rather than waiting to go into labor naturally, and after 29 hours of contractions, I didn’t dilate enough. At 340lbs, I faced severe medical complications from an emergency C-section, which led to going from zero surgeries my entire 36 years of life to 4 surgeries in a single month. You can read more about that ordeal in my previous post: “2023 -2024 Summary: Birth Complications”
I spent all of October (the whole first month of my son’s life) in the hospital while trying to figure out how to be a new mom with a giant open belly wound. At the same time, I watched the war in Gaza escalate, witnessed another wave of political extremism and attacks on human rights, and ended the month as part of a mass layoff from my job.
I remember looking at my newborn and feeling overwhelmed by the world they had been born into. I was grieving the loss of the postpartum experience I had imagined for myself. I couldn’t hold or breastfeed my baby the way I wanted. I couldn’t care for him the way I had envisioned during my pregnancy. I felt like my body was broken, our future uncertain, and every news notification seemed to bring another reminder of suffering, injustice, and cruelty that I had absolutely no control over.
I lived with an open abdominal wound and weekly wound vac changes by a nurse who made in-home visits until December 2023, then my partner, now husband, Marc, helped me with the dressing changes, until my wound closed up in January 2024. Having the wound close without skin grafts was a miracle in itself, and it was also much faster than the 6-month estimate the hospital had given us. I should be grateful my body did such hard work in such a short time span, but… I developed an incisional hernia from the weakness in my abdominal wall, and it was difficult to see a way past the physical setbacks. It was a long and painful chapter that tested me, or rather us, a new family, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The first part of my healing journey, I’ve documented in a previous blog post here: “Postpartum Weight Loss, Zepbound, & Healing“.
Something unexpected happened during these years I’ve spent healing my body. The more vulnerable I became, the harder it was to look away from the vulnerability of others. I went through a lot, but honestly, I lucked out in a lot of ways!
Being dependent on nurses, doctors, family, friends, and needing accessible community support changed how I viewed the world. Becoming a mother changed how I viewed the future. My own pain did not make me retreat from what was happening around me. If anything, it deepened my commitment to paying attention.
As I navigated surgeries, disability, recovery, therapy, and postpartum depression, I also found myself becoming more politically engaged than I had ever been before. I could no longer lie to myself that politics was something distant or abstract (gosh, the privilege that allowed me to ever believe that). Policies shape whether people can access healthcare. They shape whether families can survive, not just financially, after a medical crisis, but also how they shelter and feed themselves. Politics shape whose rights are protected and whose humanity is ignored.
Early in 2024, learning that in order to solve my c-section hernia, I needed to lose a bunch of weight, I started Zepbound and over the next year lost 100 pounds. During that weight loss journey, I had an emergency gallbladder removal in August 2025. This part of my story, you can read more about here: “Hernia Update: New Doctor, New Plan, Same Determination”.
After moving from Tucson to the Phoenix area, I searched for a surgeon who could finally repair the massive hernia left behind by my C-section complications. Every doctor told me the same thing: the surgery would be difficult, and my weight significantly increased the risk of recurrence. To give myself the best chance at a lasting repair, I would need to lose even more weight. That recommendation eventually led me to bariatric surgery. The first surgery I’d actually be choosing for myself and opting into with a clear head and a real choice and preparation time, as opposed to all my others, which had to happen.
Something I’ve never really talked about is that I was the fat girl who never thought she’d ever even consider bariatric surgery. Outside of all my complications since the birth of my kiddo, I was a “super healthy” morbidly obese lady for 20 years. I wasn’t pre-diabetic, my cholesterol and A1C were in the perfect range, and I didn’t think I felt the impacts of my weight (now, I know better).
If I’m being honest, I thought surgery was the easy way out. I was wrong!
Read “My Next Big Step: Why I’m Getting Bariatric Surgery“
Bariatric surgery (much like the GLP-1) is a tool, not a shortcut. The surgery doesn’t heal your relationship with food. It doesn’t heal the trauma that led to the weight gain in the first place. It doesn’t teach you self-worth. You still have to do that work yourself.
For me, that meant therapy. It meant difficult and emotional conversations with my husband, Marc. It meant unpacking years of trauma (outside of my medical trauma) while still learning how to be a mother. It meant accepting my new disabilities, asking for help, and letting go of the idea that strength means doing everything alone (even though I still forget that lesson sometimes). I also got a job, finally, thank goodness, at the time a contract position, but it was just what I needed to really solidify my choices, and I wrote more about this time in my life here: “Plans Change, but the Goal Stays the Same“.
In October 2025, I had an endoscopy to prepare for surgery, and in December 2025, I underwent VSG surgery, and while they were in there, my surgeon fixed a surprise large hiatal hernia. By then, I was down to 230 lbs. The goal was always bigger than the scale. I needed to lose enough weight to finally repair my massive C-section hernia, and I was truly on my way. More information about my healing at this time is written here: “Healing Journey Update“.
In April 2026, at 185lbs and with a BMI under 35, I was finally able to have that incisional hernia surgery. The 8th time I’ve been completely out under anaesthesia in just 2.5 years, and hopefully the last necessary surgery of my entire life.
Today, 6 months out from my VSG surgery and 7 weeks out from my c-section hernia repair, I’m 170 lbs.
I’ve lost half of my body weight, but the biggest transformation isn’t physical. The real change happened in my mind and my heart.
I’ve learned resilience. I’ve learned patience. I’ve learned that healing isn’t linear. I’ve learned that community and accepting support are not weaknesses. I’ve learned that empathy is an action. I’ve learned that motherhood made me care more deeply about the kind of world we’re building together.
For a long time, I thought staying quiet was neutrality. I’ve come to understand that silence often benefits the white supremacist patriarchal systems already in power. As a white woman, I’ve spent these last few years examining the ways I have benefited from systems that harm others (not just the people close to me but also society as a whole) and questioning where my own complacency allowed injustice to continue unchallenged. I’ve written a few other posts to help people write their representatives: “Writing to my Representatives because I hate what’s happening“, “Making Sense of the SAVE Act: Learning to Decode Policy and Follow the Facts“, and started reading books that helped me understand the USA we live in: “What White Fragility Helped Me Understand About Racism and Myself“.
I’m half the woman I used to be physically, but I’m infinitely more grounded in my values, my voice, and my willingness to speak up for others.
This journey has been surgeries, setbacks, healing, grief, therapy, growth, activism, and refusing to give up.
And for the first time in a very long time, I finally feel like I’m getting my life back. 💟